Remember..

NO. MATTER. WHAT.

Without rest we cannot:

resist

persist

rage on

All of your efforts are respected, useful and valid. Your struggle is your own but you aren’t alone. Take heart in waking up today and moving forward. Because having the courage to do this one more day is progress. Thank you for being here and don’t stop fighting.

Laboring in Love,

Lily

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I hope you’re okay today. Who ever you are. I wish nothing but good things for you and want you to keep faith and high expectation in the good that is to come for you. Also the minute you woke up this morning, you were enough. For anyone. For everyone. You’re enough. Someone hears you. Although it may not be obvious, there is someone somewhere looking up to you. Cheering you on. There are at least 3 things you can be thankful for today, find solace and rejoice in that if your day has been troubled. Good vibes to you.

 

Hugs,

Lily Trill

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Thank ya Jesus for waking me up.

It’s May and it’s cold for why?

Why is this dude always gone on Tuesday but here it is Tuesday and here he sits?

Why Fetty lose an eye and we still out here strugglin’?

Why Plies run off on the plug?

Who hurt Young Metro? He don’t trust nobody

 

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I might have found a new place to live. Which is always exciting. It will be my first place all to myself. Terrifying. But I need to be in a better environment. Since the leasing office and old management basically breached their own lease, no better time than the present. Nervous about the increase in cost the most I think. I have furniture and moving help all nailed down. Lets hope ma dukes pitche$ in. No better way to say happy holidays than a new place right?! I have until Monday to decide.

I think…I feel like today the last bad thing has finally happened and it will go nowhere but up now. I’m so much more clear headed and concentrated. The past month has been like a pushing a truck up a hill with a string to put it mildly. Which part? What in particular? All of it…the whole lot of the last 4-6 weeks. I know grossly large estimate of a month but seriously…it has felt endless. So yeah? Maybe. No, not maybe lets exercise that age old mantra “speak it into existence”. Yes. Yes. Yes. Things are getting back on track. Back to school in January. Reconciliation and finally letting it all hangout.

Pump good vibes and positive thoughts this way because they are being returned to you 10 fold. Here’s to another day in the life….

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There are few things more frustrating than circumstances being rough and they have nothing to do with you, but directly effect you due to how they are effecting someone else. It is in essence being asked of you to be two sides of yourself simultaneously. Be understanding and supportive but be upset and confused because you don’t understand why you’re being treated less than desirably. It isn’t you. And fuck it all if that isn’t the precise thing that enrages you. IT ISN’T EVEN YOU. You’re the beautiful thing in the situation and there is perhaps a thought that it’s protecting you…to keep you from the bad times without any recognition of your want and desire to be there regardless. Because regardless, in and of itself, is one of the most mind bending concepts in human relationships. It’s rare. Someone who is capable of “regardless” with another, that is terrifying for everyone involved. Until the moment that they get it, the other person accepts and understands that regardless you’re ready. Maybe that’s when the axis tilts, when I get there I’ll let everyone know. Current feeling is a slow motion fall where you are able to see all the outcomes possible when you finally land… happy vibes and prayers to landing where my heart wants to be.

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No interest in reading and learning, but have huge opinions with no real reasoning.

Hate kids and have no interest in rearing any, but have infinite wisdom and conversation on how they should be raised and what parents should and should not do.

Atheist. But identify as (technically) “insert religion” because then that gives leverage to insult and be close minded towards others beliefs that you accuse of being intolerant and ignorant.

Angry about others people’s life choices and stay in other people’s business via social networking but have no plans and are not working towards positive things for oneself.

Maintain the notion that if certain trends or cultural occurrences did not/do not happen in personal region of origin or was not witnessed first hand it did not happen.

An injustice, malfunction, or inconsideration happened to others but has yet to befall one first hand so it is considered as nothing. Yet the minute it knocks on the unaffected’s door it is to be the worry of the masses….

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It’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon,  windy and cool.  Not a cloud in the sky.

You hurt. In your chest. In the deepest recesses of your being,  there is that pain. The all too familiar, all consuming hurt. A cocktail of anxiety,  disappointment, sadness, helpless restlessness…. mixed and poured inexplicably across your spirit. Walking on solid ground all the while drowning inside…. just when you resign to wash in the blood of the impending turmoil, you see eyes. Those eyes that want nothing more than to anchor you and bring you back. Regardless of the cost or how Many times they must,  Those eyes cast the line. fighting the body breaking,  mind bending surf for you. A fight to beyond death. An ethereal battle to recapture the part of you that is breaking. Not because they too bare the intrinsic scars from this ancient harbinger of discontent… for the light that comes back to your eyes when you come back. The light of your soul and the warmth you return to them with. Nothing more sinister and sweet than the fear they have of You leaving them behind

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